Monday, July 28, 2008

First Day of School!!! case anyone needs reminding, I'm 25 years old, 26 at the end of august. That said, this is the first day of school and it FEELS like it! The nervous tummy, the slightly light-headed sensation that comes from fear of the unknown and insatiable curiosity...the book bag, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich neatly wrapped in tinfoil, the back to school's all ganging up on me here.

I hated school. I hated elementary, middle, high, AND college. Well, hate is a strong word for college. I hated my first year of college...after that it slowly got better. But I still get fear in the pit of my stomach on the first day of school. Will I like my teachers? Will I make any friends? Am I going to be cool or uncool? Will I get good grades? Will I be able to make every class? It's the kind of crap I hoped I'd never have to deal with again, and not to say it's going to be an issue THIS time might be. It might be. And I hate this feeling.

I'll feel better when I actually get to class and can obsessively take notes and soak in everything the teacher tells us...I hope my best is enough, that's all. I never used to "try"...because as long as I didn't try, my potential was limitless...that is to say, it extended to the unknown. But if i "try" to be my best, I might find that my best simply isn't enough, and that would be devastating to me. It could go the other way, and I might find that my best is truly outstanding and beyond my wildest imagination...BUT...I'm not the optimist I ought to be.

Anyway...wish me luck!! I'm shooting for Storyboard Artist and eventual art if prayers are to be had, you might focus on those particular professions for your beloved gokarm ;-).

Peace Out, everyone!

P.S: BTW, I haven't given up on Polyvore "sets of the day"...I just need to get back into the swing. It'll happen.


Jess Lee said...

The first day of school (or the first day at a new job) always made me nervous too! Good luck! I'm sure you'll do great though and you don't really need any luck... :)

Karmander said...

Thank you very much! I have an anxiety streak that tends to get tiresome even to me lol

The Fashion Police said...

Good luck!

I always hated school too, but I always loved buying the new notepads and pens (and CLOTHES!) for the start of it, which was some kind of solace.

Karmander said...

Wow, thanks for visiting my humble little blog, commisioner!...unfortunately, I had no necessary purchases to make for the start of school :/ But the whole school thing is going very well so, it evens out :D

Anonymous said...

god I still get those "didn't study for exam" nightmares and it's been a few years,lol. I guess it never leaves you! The very best of luck my dearest and I KNOW you will SUCEED!!! My hubby's in gaming, have you ever thought of going into that? I can see you excelling in Japanese game scapes. The visuals are sooo out of this world.

I'm a sucker for new pencils! Remember to have fun!!!


Karmander said...

Yeah, I don't do games. I sort of stopped after my "Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt" combo phase. I did play gameboy too, but, you know...I don't own any gamer now...I don't even play games on the computer really. We are going to be learning it though. I think my niche is more in publishing. Everything I make in class tends to look like a really good book. I do plan on creating a new blog look though, before I'm done :D

henedina said...

I hear you, this household has every known game console in the world but they pretty much gather dust in the corner ( literally, hehe). I don't even know how to turn them on, lol. Even my daughter doesn't show interest. My husband uses them for research but when my nephews come over they just have a field day! Must be a guy thing ;P

Can't wait to see what you come up with! Are you into Japanese anime? My daughter and I are huge fans of Studio Ghibli.


Karmander said...

Welllll...anime, yes and no. Aspects of it, I love, absolutely. In fact, I wouldn't be a serious artist today if it weren't for anime's influence. Some kids in my middle school had anime magazines and I was driven to re-render the images I saw...after a lot of practice, I find I'm quite good at it, though my personal style has since taken over. But really the only anime movie I could get into is "Howl's Moving Castle" and the only series I watched somewhat seriously was Sailor Moon...sure, I like it, but i don't know very much about it, considering the wealth of material in the genre.

LiNDZ! said...

ughh i hate the first week of school. Everyone wants to be flawless. But nobody can acheive the title of flawless. And so you are let down.

Anonymous said...


check out "Spirited Away" and Totoro, mine and Sofia's


*Sara* said...

Hi dear:)
This is the first time I am visiting your blog and I think It is great....I wish u good luck in your new career as well as school:)