Monday, July 28, 2008
Gawd...in case anyone needs reminding, I'm 25 years old, 26 at the end of august. That said, this is the first day of school and it FEELS like it! The nervous tummy, the slightly light-headed sensation that comes from fear of the unknown and insatiable curiosity...the book bag, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich neatly wrapped in tinfoil, the back to school CLOTHES...it's all ganging up on me here.
I hated school. I hated elementary, middle, high, AND college. Well, hate is a strong word for college. I hated my first year of college...after that it slowly got better. But I still get fear in the pit of my stomach on the first day of school. Will I like my teachers? Will I make any friends? Am I going to be cool or uncool? Will I get good grades? Will I be able to make every class? It's the kind of crap I hoped I'd never have to deal with again, and not to say it's going to be an issue THIS time but...it might be. It might be. And I hate this feeling.
I'll feel better when I actually get to class and can obsessively take notes and soak in everything the teacher tells us...I hope my best is enough, that's all. I never used to "try"...because as long as I didn't try, my potential was limitless...that is to say, it extended to the unknown. But if i "try" to be my best, I might find that my best simply isn't enough, and that would be devastating to me. It could go the other way, and I might find that my best is truly outstanding and beyond my wildest imagination...BUT...I'm not the optimist I ought to be.
Anyway...wish me luck!! I'm shooting for Storyboard Artist and eventual art director...so if prayers are to be had, you might focus on those particular professions for your beloved gokarm ;-).
Peace Out, everyone!
P.S: BTW, I haven't given up on Polyvore "sets of the day"...I just need to get back into the swing. It'll happen.